Maybe it’s because I’m a woman but I honestly don’t care about the sex workers or people asking for money at all. It’s definitely annoying when people post and talk about selling clips or their wish lists, but it’s something that literally has nothing to do with me so I just don’t give a shit, but that’s probably because I don’t have to browse through profiles of women so I’ve never had to filter through people in this particular way.
If I lived in a trailer in a nowhere town or had a dead end job and I was struggling supporting myself, and my choices for affection were billy joe the opioid addict, some guy who won't be seen with me in public, or some guy who lives across the country but comments “cute belly” and sends me Wendy’s gift cards - I would also probably choose to ask people for money online. I’m also mostly talking about people who aren’t bona fide sex workers like bigcutie models or something — just random girls in their bedroom with the samsung beauty filter at a 10, bad eyebrows, and poorly lit photographs lol
I guess I consider myself lucky that I’m in a position in life where
a) I’ve never needed $20 or a meal so badly that I was willing to rub my stomach over skype for it
b) the opportunity cost of posting my belly online in a sexual way would affect me more negatively than positively {I’m thinking of people who would suffer from career suicide if like a senior partner of their company came across these pictures} — so yeah let’s say I go back in time and I’m a 19 year old student and I magically make $5 000 in a month off of selling Clips 4 Sale, and premium snapchat etc. and I get a great new wardrobe out of it - but I have way more to lose in the long run when I'm 31 and it comes to potential opportunities I’ve lost in my career because I have revealing pictures of myself online.
irl I definitely have the expectation of my partner to spend money on me or treat me to things (like I would with them), but that has nothing to do with feedism. If I was with a feeder, “spoiling me” would definitely intersect with feedism — but just randomly asking random guys for money or food online doesn’t really appeal to me.
I would also like some sort of flirty feedism centered conversation, but posting “hey message me! :) ” is just an invitation for awful messages, and I don’t want to be that asshole girl who posts “hey I think I’m better than these other girls because I’ll talk to you about feedism for free and they just want a dominos sponsor”. If I did that,
1) my inbox would be flooded by thirsty guys
2) the wrath of all the sex workers and their fans on feabie will come down on me hahaha
3) that’s a really shitty thing to broadcast
4) any guy that would respond positively to something like that is not one that I’m interested in anyway tbh
So I end up posting my failed twitter drafts about the weather or mcdonalds hashbrowns that nobody (including myself lol) really cares about, and just usually don’t bother posting at all.
I also don’t interact with anyone that doesn’t appear to meet my standards. I think that’s why I’ve been lucky and not had to deal with people ghosting me or being disrespectful or anything. I also block or ignore anyone that posts, comments, or messages me something even slightly annoying. I also took down the 2 pictures I had that showed my face and body and substituted it with one awkward photo with my head cropped out (that I hate because I don’t like people with ugly pictures and now I have an ugly picture hahaha) and the traffic to my inbox has taken a noticeable drop.
The only reason I really am on feabie is to find a person that I would like to be with who is *also* into feedism. So I’m never going to compromise my normal standards for a person that I would want to be with, just for the sake of feedism. Fortunately I’ve met 5 really awesome people through feabie who were what I’m looking for as a whole on top of being into feedism (but that was 5 people over a year and a half and 3 cities and 3 countries), but I think it’d be a stretch to think that my experience necessarily parallels other girls, or that it could be comparable to a guys experience.
Ime most of the people that think that Feabie is a “toxic hellhole” are usually pretty unsavoury themselves, and are pretty easy to spot and avoid anyway.
From what I’ve seen, anyone that complains about people online and the stuff I’ve seen people get pissy about on feabie then storm off to complain about on reddit/this site almost always involve them posting something genuinely stupid or questionable and then having a fit when a bunch of people call them out on their stupid opinion. So sure the clique of 5 people who comment and call you out/trash talk you for being ‘sexist/racist/whatever’ are the worst, but so are you for slightly being a bigot and thinking anyone gives a shit about your thoughts on something touchy in the first place.
Arguing with them, and then posting another status later about getting “harassed by all the sjws and white knights” is stupid behaviour and I’ve never seen a 100% innocent or reasonable post brigaded by the soldiers of feabie, and OP coming out not looking like a defensive loser afterwards.
I understand that people on Feabie can appear to be sensitive or pedantic with a lot of things, but ignoring a reply or deleting a status all together is free — same with just not posting anything that could incite arguments or strong opinions in the first place (religion, politics whatever.
I posted once about how I was happy that it was an abnormally warm day, and someone commented something about climate change and then 2 other people started having a discussion/argument on it on in my comments then someone else asked me why I wasn’t replying… Yeah climate change is a huge issue and perhaps this winter has been unusually warm because of it, but that’s obviously not what I meant… I just deleted that post entirely instead of engaging with it since I literally had nothing to gain from it, it’s really that easy.
With all this I can’t say I find a lot of women bitter or anything, but a lot of people would rather correct someone and get into an argument vs. just blocking or scrolling past someone that annoys them. But I think this is true of the internet and any online community in general, and is not necessarily exclusive to feabie. I can also understand that some people are more invested in “the feedism community” than I am, and might feel more of a need to moderate other users and keep things flowing to the way they feel is appropriate.
I feel sort of gross typing all this out as it seems sort of self-indulgent and arrogant on my part but honestly all these thoughts have been stewing on my mind for ages.
tldr
My whole feabie experience can basically be boiled to poem Masks by Shel Silverstein:
“She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue,
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by-
And never knew.”
>>2364I totally feel you on this. I don’t really know how to stand out as a more “sincere” feedee, without it looking like I'm shitting on other women or calling attention to myself, so I just quietly lurk lol. So while the idea of waking up and getting stuffed with a hundred cupcakes and a feeder to put them in my mouth is absolutely fantastic, there’s no joy in it for me if it’s because some guy through the internet that I only talk to through Skype sent them to my house.
>>2362Tinder or any other dating medium are fine imo, but the only obstacle is that I would be nervous about breaching the topic of feederism with someone who might not have any idea what I’m talking about.
Outside of feedism I’m personally more reserved/innocent when it comes to sexual things in general, so bringing something up like this with a guy I met at a club, or at school, or on tinder (basically just not feabie lol) could get very awkward, to the point where I’m fine just ignoring it and leaving it out all together. I really would only bring it up with someone I was completely 10000% comfortable with (and that’s only happened once and he was fortunately kind of into it lol).
So I generally don't mind Tinder and I like it for more vanilla dating, but it’s not something that I think I could rely on for specifically finding a feeder, and while I'm not really looking for hookups I also don't take Tinder matches too seriously