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Feedback from the survey responses here: >>>gen/8273

Bulking up Steph Anonymous 08/15/2018 (Wed) 23:51:19 Id:ce1414 No. 2921
Well written ongoing story by polarisdreamer. What do you guys think?
One of the best stories I've read, imho. The writing is very good and the characters are well developed.
>>2921
I found the rather cliché and slow start off-putting. I don't think I made it past chapter 2.
>>2924
It does get better after the first couple chapters, and the character of steph is very well written
>Well written

That's a bold claim right there. Lets test it out.

" Steph desperately tried to slap the chocolate frosting off of her face, while she strained her overtaxed legs and picked herself up from her predicament, “Ahh-Umm!! Let me explain!!”"

...

Why is she slapping herself? That sounds painful.

Also, would it sound better if it were written like this:

Steph frantically wiped the frosting off her face as she forced herself to stand. The chocolate cake inside her stuffed stomach didn't help. "Joline! Uh, um, l-let can explain!"

Just saying...
(67.29 KB 1119x1195 FB_IMG_1527435661711.jpg)
>>2926
>taking a casual line from the story (which by the way looks better than yours)
>using it to call the story as a whole badly written
>>2927
one line is all it takes. I tried reading comfort zone and I was also very unimpressed. Repeating the fact that a character has a single quality in every other paragraph doesn't make it good writing. It's just annoying.
>>2931
Would you kindly recommended some good wg stories then? You seem to be keen on it, so why not share?
>>2935
I was honestly expecting a harsher reply, but since you asked nicely I don't see why not.

there's Vixen by fattony20: https://www.deviantart.com/fattony20/art/Anticipation-418010445

Beach Food and Beach Bodies by bob123456789123 which aslo had illustrations by berserker1133: https://www.deviantart.com/bob123456789123/gallery/56126502/Beach-Food-and-Beach-Bodies

A Southern Story also by bob123456789123:https://www.deviantart.com/bob123456789123/gallery/34295554/A-Southern-Story

Sexy Comfortable, Rounder and Rounder We Go, and Backfired by snr6424: https://www.deviantart.com/snr6424/gallery/35953362/Sexy-Comfortable
https://www.deviantart.com/snr6424/art/Backfired-Part-1-FWG-178432139
https://www.deviantart.com/snr6424/art/Rounder-and-Rounder-We-Go-636276780

Things by jakemcduck look pretty promising but I don't really read his stuff since it mostly contains mutual gaining: https://www.deviantart.com/jakemcduck

Indentured by WhooptyDoop: https://www.deviantart.com/whooptydoop/art/Indentured-Ch-1-530635874

Firewarrior121 stuff is also pretty good: https://www.deviantart.com/firewarrior121/gallery/

and if you've somehow managed to become immortal theres Something's gotta give by StrugglingWriter/adddeviantert: https://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/threads/somethings-gotta-give-by-strugglingwriter-bbw-xwg.82567/
>>2936
>Complains about stories that aren't well written
>Recommends a story that begins "So there I was lying on the living room floor in a daze of what just happened to me"
Well, I think it's fair to say that Bulking Up Steph is very well writing, at least for wg fiction standars. These guys that write fetish stories we enjoy and put some serious effort on it are not professionals, so of course you won't see a wg fiction with the literature level of Faulkner's novels; but that doesn't mean they aren't doing a great job.

Putting that aside, I think the story is solid and it has some amazing and vivid scenes. Some of the sex and humilliation scene are pretty explicit which I'm very fond of.
In the later chapters the characters of Joline and Delilah have grown on importance (and pounds) and altogether with a very hot main character make this story very worth reading, imo. The illustrations are good too. I can understand that some people don't like polaris writing or berserker illustrations but those guys are putting some effort on this one, that's safe to say.
>>2936
Wasn’t big into those recommendations, but led me to Crazypicklehead, which was fantastic
I agree that Bulking Up Steph is better-than-par within its field, and that its descriptions tend to be a strong point.
If we're talking overall technically well-constructed weight gain stories with similar humiliation themes, I think Maverick and Riptoryx warrant a mention.
https://www.deviantart.com/maverickthewriter
https://www.deviantart.com/riptoryx
>>2936
I hate giving harsh replies, being nice is all that's important
The recommendations weren't that bad as well, I read them all some time ago
Chapter 9 is up. There is only one chapter left
The story is finished. Beserker finished drawing the entire series as well.

https://www.deviantart.com/polarisdreamer/gallery/

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