/elite/ - Erotic Literature

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Feedback from the survey responses here: >>>gen/8273

New Writer 08/02/2019 (Fri) 04:21:09 Id:458e4d No. 3898
I'm an FFA trying to get back into writing. I'm really rusty at it, so I'd like gentle critiques (I know this is a Chan board but still) on a ssbhm/superchub/weight gain story I'm working. Warning, it will eventually contain immobility.

https://www.deviantart.com/gloom-belly/art/The-Weight-Clinic-Part-I-807981479
I really like this story, as I think you've struck a great balance between description and moving things along. (A lot of writers get stuck in the weeds, describing their character's bio, every inch of their anatomy, and their every micro-thought.) The sex scene in the sequel is pretty hot as well. Seems like you're off and running...
>>4054

Never been a fan of a short format (as a fellow writer who certainly has problems anon >>3904 described), but damn this is good.

I'd still say that if it was just a tiny bit longer, it'd better. But it's good enough as it is, with all the right boxes ticked off for my perverted mind.

All in all, 8/10, keep up the good work.

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