/gen/ - General Discussion

Talk about whatever you like

Thank you for seeing BBW-Chan through the winter and into summer donators! Click to join the cause.
Mode: Reply
Name
Subject
Message

Max length: 9999 |

Files
E-mail
Password

(used to delete files and postings)

Misc

Remember to follow the rules


Feedback from the survey responses here: >>>gen/8273

(539.82 KB 750x936 IMG_6239.jpg)
Would you stay or leave? Anonymous 06/19/2019 (Wed) 01:20:42 Id:c2215b No. 7904
Fellas, after all of the negatives comments by family and friends, rude glances from society, you ignore them and get married to your preference; the only type of woman you like. The BBW or SSBBW of your dreams.

Years later, she decides to slim down.

What would you do in this situation?

stay? leave? stay and cheat? ...etc

let me know below.
(350.38 KB 750x935 IMG_6238.jpg)
(1.75 MB 480x480 IMG_6240.GIF)
before
(499.58 KB 750x937 IMG_6237.jpg)
(596.57 KB 731x940 IMG_6236.jpg)
after
(71.65 KB 656x881 1453544674094.jpg)
Married guy here with an effortpost.

If you're serious about a lifelong, monogamous marriage, you have to be psychologically prepared for the possibility of her losing weight. (Obviously it's different if you're in an open relationship or if you're not really committed to trying to make the marriage work for life no matter what.)

I wrote about this before in the "one that got away" thread, but one of the major FA experiences I had when I was younger was a serious relationship with someone who was a perfect match physically (a 500 lb pear with ass and belly for days), and who had a good potential wife personality (sweet and kindhearted), but who I didn't actually have any interests in common with outside the bedroom. Eventually I had to admit that I wouldn't be compatible with her if I didn't find her body so attractive.

She had weight-related health issues (diabetes and knee stuff), and I realized that if I were serious about staying with her for the long term, and if I cared for her as a person and not just a sex object (which I did, even though we eventually broke up), she would probably have to lose a significant amount of weight at some point to make her own life bearable, and that would make things really difficult for me because it would take away the main reason we were a couple in the first place. She did eventually end up getting WLS a few years after we broke up.

I knew I was serious about wanting marriage, so when that relationship ended, I made a hard rule for myself that I wouldn't get into a serious relationship with a woman unless I could honestly say that I would still be interested in them as a person if they weren't fat. I was enough of a "good catch" (open about liking fat women, solid job/education, introverted but not a total neckbeard) that I had to learn to turn down romantic attention from girls I found physically hot but who had incompatible personalities. As a male with normal male levels of horniness, this was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But it was the right thing to do. Fat women get enough shitty treatment from closet FAs and men in general that I didn't want to be part of the "I'll fuck you but I'm not serious about a relationship" game, even just in the context of casual dating.

The question I always tried to ask in the initial stages of getting to know someone was: if they were skinny instead of fat, so that raw sexual attraction wasn't on the table, would I still find them compatible enough to be romantically interesting? Sometimes, if I was being honest with myself, the answer was no.

This actually made the social stuff a lot easier in the long run. I'm open about being into fat women, but when I finally met my wife, she was such a good fit for me in terms of education, interests and personality that even casual acquaintances who didn't know this could see "yeah, it totally makes sense why the two of them would be a couple," without her weight even entering into the equation.

No marriage is perfect, we fight more than I wish we did about the usual shit couples fight about (money, politics, sex stuff unrelated to her fatness), but that baseline level of compatibility and trust is strong enough that I have faith in our ability to overcome our differences and keep our marriage solid. I'm confident that if she ever did have to lose weight, our marriage would still survive, for the same reason it has survived other tough times.

All that said, if the "before" pic is what your actual gf is built like, you need to chill out a bit because she's not even that big.

pic unrelated
>>7906
#DeflationSagPride
>>7908
this was some good insight.

"The question I always tried to ask in the initial stages of getting to know someone was: if they were skinny instead of fat, so that raw sexual attraction wasn't on the table, would I still find them compatible enough to be romantically interesting?"

what you put in quotations if what I should be asking myself when thinking about settling down.


This might be an asshole response but I feel like I need to ask it.

I've spent from age 15 to my mid 20's basically avoiding sexual interactions with bbw/chubby women (with the exception of sex with one girl, a kiss from another, and sexting one) because of what what my friends, family, and society might react to it. I'm in my late 20's now and i'm unapologetically pursuing the women I prefer(bbw/cubby) women.

If she slims down a bit to get healthy, cool? being completely skinny? idk about that.
I would definitely feel some kind of way...

I know myself very well, so i'll probably stay but we might have to work something out.
Respectfully, I would ask for a "cheat pass" in the marriage.

Am I not being logical? is thing an emotional a-hole response?
>>7911
>Am I not being logical? is thing an emotional a-hole response?
Aside from the cheat pass, no I don't think so. When men who aren't into BBWs marry women and they get fat, no one complains when they want them to lose weight, there's even marriage books that go on to tell women that they have to or it's fair game if the guy leaves her.

So why can't the inverse be true? You like them chubby, the woman you want will eventually know that. So long as she keeps enough so you don't lose your physical attraction, what's wrong with that? Obviously I'm not talking about SSBBW sized women, just your general fat women.

There was a recent British study too that showed that as long as a woman was getting regular exercise it would offset most, if not all of the negative effects of obesity, at least for women. So it is not like being overweight if necessarily unhealthy.
I'd stay. If I decided to commit myself to someone for life, it's because their personality clicks with mine, and them being a BBW would have just been a nice little bonus. Answer would remain the same if they decided to get muscular as well.
>>7916
>There was a recent British study too that showed that as long as a woman was getting regular exercise it would offset most, if not all of the negative effects of obesity
Cite plz?
>>7904
I'd never get married in the 1st place
Some good insight here in this section.

On top of the points made, I'd add that if this is truly a deal breaker, you'll probably want to vet out people who are more likely to lose a ton of weight in the early dating stage. Marriage is a big deal with legal ramifications, and dumping a person because they lost weight will be a life shattering experience for everyone involved, so best to head this off at the pass.

Look for women who have been fat most of their lives. If she's always been bigger, it's more likely that she'll stay that way.

Look for women that are generally happy with their bodies (confident)

Look for women that just seem to enjoy food. They don't eat out of depression.

Take a look at her friend group. Are her friends mostly bigger women? Another good sign.

Finally, be realistic about the fact that people's weight isn't static, and just about everyone will lose some amount of weight at some point in their lives.
(569.72 KB 650x864 1448075889607.png)
Another tl;dr post from the married guy.

>>7911
>>7940

Rereading my old post, before I inspire anyone to make bad decisions that they'll later regret, what I really should have said was "...I knew I wanted marriage and kids." I didn't say it because even mentioning my kids in a hive of scum and villainy like this one feels like tempting fate. But I should be clear that's what I meant.

I love my wife, but if you don't want kids, I honestly would not recommend getting married. Actually trying to make lifelong exclusive monogamy work involves a lot of hard sacrifices and compromises, and IMO, the only reason to make these sacrifices is to create a stable environment of mutual trust in which to raise a family. If we didn't have kids together, and if I didn't have that rock solid trust that we're determined to work things out and reach a compromise no matter how tough things get, and if I didn't have faith that she trusted me completely in the exact same way... then if it were just about my personal happiness, marriage would have been a sacrifice (of my lifestyle, my money, my freedom) where the cons outweigh the pros.

In the specific context of this thread, her having to lose weight (which fortunately is a challenge I haven't had to face) would be another one of those sacrifices. We're actually pretty lucky that her weight didn't cause any problems during pregnancy.

>>7911

I don't think it's fair to open the relationship for yourself if you don't also open it for your partner. And the question you'd have to ask there is would you be comfortable knowing that your wife was fucking other guys, especially if she became skinny enough to be considered conventionally attractive? Personally, I know I couldn't handle that (not saying this is true for all people, just for me). And in the lives of my friends and family I've seen way too many situations where a "discreet mature open relationship" ended up being a drama bomb that totally nuked people's lives, including situations where kids were involved and got hurt.

Although, I'm an American, and America is a Puritan culture with no sense of realism or ambiguity about sex (either you're strictly monogamous or you're a hipster who can't shut up on social media about ~love can't be confined, my polyamory is beautiful and morally superior~). I'm guessing that you (OP) aren't from the US because of the grammar in your posts and because the girl in your pics looks Brazilian. So if your cultural situation is different you might be able to make things work better. My outsider's impression is that French and Spanish influenced cultures tend to have a more realistic attitude where it's accepted that men can have a "cheat pass" to satisfy their sexual urges as long as it doesn't affect their family situation.

Anyway, just rambling here. If all this seems complicated or contradictory relative to my last post, that's because relationships and life in general are complicated and contradictory.

>>7992

Solid advice here. The big mistake some guys make is assuming that because "women let themselves go after marriage," a fat girl who doesn't like her size will suddenly become self-confident and no longer want to lose weight once they put a ring on it. It's not that simple.

have a 19th century chicken man to break up the monotony of this wall of text
>>8005
I've never wanted kids, so marriage has no appeal to me.

Delete
Report/Ban

Captcha (required for reports and bans by board staff)


no cookies?