>>4770
From a hairy dude who used to inflate himself all the time, here's some options:
1. Take a generic rubber party balloon, blow it up with your mouth, then keep it on your mouth, plug your nose and see if you can open your esophagus and let the air deflate into your stomach. Keep doing this until you're full. Wait a bit, then you'll feel a bit of a hissing gurgle and the pressure goes away. Refill with more air from the balloon.
This method is slow and takes practice, but doesn't require any fancy tools, is quiet, and needs no prior preparation.
2. Buy a cheap clip-on bike pump, like the little ones you clip to your bicycle to keep with you while you ride. Buy soft rubber tubing off the internet, preferably the right width to fit snugly in the bike pump's outlet hole. I went to a local hardware store for my tubing, although that's not the most hygienic. Tubing goes in pump, other end goes in your bum. You probably don't need lube, since it's a very thin hose. Just make sure not to force anything, and make sure the end of the hose doesn't have any sharp bits. Plain and simple, just pump slowly until bigger, or you cramp.
3. There's enemas, but that's not REALLY recommended, since you're basically flushing out your system of all the good stuff and you risk putting bad stuff in there to replace it.
If you know what you're doing (and salt the water correctly), then it's as simple as tubing and some way to get water into you. I used one of those $1 gallon water jugs with the handle on top, hung it, stuck the hose through the hole I made in the bottle, and stuck the other end up my bum.
MAIN RULES TO FOLLOW:
1. DO NOT FORCE *ANYTHING*. If something hurts or doesn't feel right, stop. Just stop and wait. If whatever's wrong doesn't get better, or it gets worse, deflate, empty yourself and keep a phone close by, just in case it keeps getting worse.
2. Be careful with automatic methods, like electric pumps, air tanks, enema bags strung up high, etc. When you're big, you definitely don't feel like rushing in a panic to the pump, or getting out of your bathtub to reach the enema bag if something goes wrong.
3. Don't slip or trip while you're inflated
4. Aquarium pumps, not automotive tire pumps. Aquarium pumps are designed to flow SLOWLY, SMOOTHLY, and with a microscopic PSI.
5. Don't push your limit literally every day. If you're going to push your limit, put day/week breaks between the attempts; if you overdo it too often, you'll ruin your body's ability to push regular crap through your system, and nobody wants to be stuck on medical enemas for the rest of their life.
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